A New School year

Guest Post by Patrica Lammers
Saint Paul Police Department Western District Crime Prevention Coordinator
 
Many young people will be heading to back to school to start a new year.  Weather it is a new school or an old school for them they may face some challenges.  For many kids being bullied is a part of their reality.  They may be a victim or they may be a witness.   I wanted to take this opportunity to provide some helpful tips
The reality is most bullying happens when adults are not around.  This can be between classes, at lunch or recess, after school and increasing on-line.  However, 85% of bullying is seen by other children.   Many children who witness simply don’t know how to handle it or what to do to stop it.  Witnessing can cause the following effects:

• Feel angry, helpless, and guilty
• Don’t feel safe
• Fear of becoming a victim themselves

The majority of children want to help when they see bullying and helping is one of the most effective ways to stop and prevent bullying from happening again.  When friends help out 57% of the time bullying stops in 10 seconds!
 
What Should Children Do?
Remind them they should only step in when they feel safe.  Role play some of the following with them:

• Walk Away-This shows the bully their behavior is not acceptable or funny.
• Speak-Up- Tell bullies that their actions are wrong! Say things like “that’s not funny let’s go!” It may empower other children around to do the same.
• Ask for Help- When children stand up to bullies together; the bully is more likely to realize their actions are not ok
• Get an Adult- Sometimes children can be afraid to tell an adult because they think it will make things worse.  Children can help by telling an adult who can intervene.

 
What Can Adults Do?
Give your children the confidence and the support they need. Here are some ways you can help:
 

• Teach them to be assertive. Emphasize peaceful ways to solve problem and encourage kids to stand up for themselves verbally, not violently.
• Show them safe ways to help others.  Make it clear that you expect children to take action if they see someone being hurt, or if they are hurt themselves.
• Hold children accountable.  Even if they are just watching make it clear that their behavior hurts the victim too.
• Know who their friends are.  Encourage your children to invite their friends to your home and on family outings.
• Build empathy in your children.  Show them examples of bullying and talk with them about how the victims might feel.  Ask them how they would feel about being bullied.
• Help them develop social skills.  From a young age, encourage your children to play with others and to be friends with many different people.  Have them spend time with people of different ages, backgrounds, etc.